A more descriptive title might be, “Living With Strangers”, which for many people is an unknown and often frightful concept depending on how one has experienced life. However with a little mental and physical preparation, sharing your home or sharing another persons home can be an enjoyable and even profitable experience.
If you have ever lived in a college dormitory or stayed in a remote camp for work then you have some concept of how to maintain your individuality and humanity while sharing a washroom, kitchen and possibly even a bedroom with one or more complete strangers. Yet for most people, especially in affluent cities, the idea of having to share one's personal 'space' on a daily basis is unthinkable; until circumstances demand that they either consider the concept or live in a tent.
Having personally shared accommodations with others for different reasons, I see that there is a desperate need for people to better understand the concept before actually attempting to share their lives with strangers. Therefor I am writing this not only for the benefit of prospective landlords, students and young people just starting out in the world but also for those men and women who have found it necessary to 'down size' their lifestyle substantially.
Today this cohort of middle-age and older renters is growing much faster than seasonal college students seeking a dorm, as many landlords I've interviewed can confirm. This change in the demographics of renters demands different expectations from not only the landlord but the tenants as well if both parties are going to be happy.
As A Homeowner
There are as many rental 'situations' to be had as there are different types of person and dwelling. Over the years I've owned my own homes, rented property and enjoyed the freedom of living either on my own or with a loving family. In between those times of relative financial and individual comfort I have also found myself in a host of shared living arrangements. These different views perhaps give me an advantage in discussing this topic over someone who has never had the experience or has only been either a landlord or a renter.
As to the extent of physical preparations mentioned above, how much you as a homeowner must do to prepare your home to be shared depends on the arrangement you desire. There are shared arrangements where the landlord lives in part of the house and can oversee things daily. Then there are situations where the landlord is distant and the tenant(s) must responsibly care for the property.
I have lived in homes where each renter can at least lock their own room and I have seen situations where two people share a single bedroom when one works nights and the other days. As noted, there are an endless array of situations available and it is up to you as a prospective landlord to figure out what you can handle mentally and physically before starting out.
As a home owner you are responsible for ensuring the building you wish to rent out meets local codes, like oversized basement windows (fire code) and separate air handling systems between floors. You should decide how much of your property you will let out (are you renting your upstairs spare room or are you filling up the basement with people?) and you should consider how your renter(s) will access the rented space; do they tramp through your living room when coming and going or do they have their own door/hallways?
Other considerations include, but are certainly not limited to; Who maintains the rented common area? Who cuts the grass, shovels snow? How much extra energy and water will be used by the tenant(s) and who is paying for it? Is there enough kitchen space to suit the storage and cooking needs of the tenant(s)? Is there parking? Are pets and/or children allowed?
Truly the list of considerations can get quite long and because your local/municipal government has already drawn up guidelines for prospective landlords, I will not struggle here with the technical and legal minutia of it. Rather I wish to explore how to handle it all mentally and emotionally because if you cannot do that then you have wasted your time and money in what can be expensive preparations.
Picking Ideal Tenants And Room Mates
References from previous landlords go a long way in helping you determine who is going to be a respectful renter but you cannot ignore your own first impressions upon meeting the applicant. It is rare that the landlord requests a credit report for two main reasons; a) the prospective tenant wanting to rent your one hundred and twenty square foot bedroom probably cannot afford much else and b) losing one tenant for failure to pay rent is not generally a huge financial blow when you still have two or more tenants still paying. Remember that you are in charge and if you don't like the look or feel of someone, you sure don't have to rent to them.
If you are the 'take charge' type then expect to review many people before settling on one or two or more renters and don't be afraid to ask tough questions about their work, their last place of residence and especially for shared accommodation rental, their alcohol, tobacco and drug use. Some places don't allow you to discriminate between renters with past criminal convictions and the law abiding, while other municipalities forbid people with certain criminal convictions from taking up residence there. Your neighbourhood expectations not withstanding, if you don't get a good first impression, you are not obliged to let them in.
To help you in your search for suitable tenants there are businesses and websites devoted to selecting good people and some companies go as far as managing your rental arrangement, from signing the papers to maintaining the property to evicting the transgressors. This last point is an important one because even the best references can be faked and our own senses fooled by someone adept at playing the rental game. So, if you are not the 'take charge' type but need the income from rental, then a property or rental management company is well worth considering.
Race, creed, colour, sex... In this politically correct age we don't like to announce our preferences but when it comes to filling your basement or house with complete strangers it is important that you and they all 'get along'. In most instances there will be two, three or more people sharing a washroom, sharing the kitchen and common areas and there is just not much space available for this all to happen without people bumping into one another, physically and emotionally.
Over the years I have rented to, and rented from males and females of almost every religion and ethnicity and I can attest to the fact that 'good and bad' attitudes are spread quite evenly between them all. If you or your rental company have asked the right questions to weed out poor attitudes then you will ideally end up with one of two scenarios; Renters who are emotionally mature enough to accept 'different', or, every renter in your house having the same cultural tastes, values and sex.
As you can imagine, picking the latter scenario is easiest if you yourself have deep cultural connections or beliefs but be careful how you advertise your preferences in the classified or rental pages because you might be labelled a racist (or worse) by someone you have turned down.
A good landlord will have thought all of the physical/practical aspects through before beginning down this road while the best landlords know that keeping good tenants means understanding where those tenants are coming from. You see, most people applying to rent a ten foot by twelve foot room for five or six or eight hundred dollars are doing so because they must, and not because living cheek to jowl with their common man is a desirable existence in our rich, individualistic society. So when you have found that ideal renter or room mate, do not look down on them because of their situation, help them to continue being the ideal you have sought for so long.
Would You Be A Good Room Mate?
Narcissists and egomaniacs need not apply. Whether you are a renter or a landlord the most important 'rule' to remember is that we must treat others with the respect we want to receive ourselves. It behooves one to accept the many differences in people with whom you are living and hopefully you are taking the opportunity to learn something of other people and cultures while you have the chance.
Sounds simple? Not by a long shot. Sadly most people today lack the ability to appreciate, or the desire to exert the effort which must go into maintaining a day in, day out relationship with a stranger or three. With few exceptions, prospective renters of that tiny basement or attic room would much rather be somewhere else, and in that mental state a handful of them may have a hard time communicating anything other than resentment. I have witnessed this first hand and all it takes is one bad apple to spoil the entire arrangement.
It is not a one-way street however and it is imperative that you, as a renter/room mate make the best of the situation without overly relying on others to solve your personal issues. Ask yourself every day what you must do to ensure that the landlord and your room mates want to see your smiling face and keep you around, and then act accordingly. It all comes down to attitude and here are a few important considerations that can make or break your shared accommodation arrangement:
#1, Your landlord owns the property and you are a guest, albeit a paying guest. You must treat the property and all of the landlord's other paying guests as you would treat your own. How would you like it if your house guests knocked holes in the drywall, spilled grape juice on the rug and chased all of your other guests away?
#2, Your room mate(s) are in a situation no different than your own and unless they've shown you otherwise, they deserve to be left to their own (legal) devices, in quiet privacy.
#3, Quiet privacy is desirable above most all in a shared accommodation which means that tenant and landlord go out of their way to avoid making a nuisance of themselves through undue attention or inattention to the needs of others.
#4, Thinking that you are not responsible for the things and people around you will make your stay unhappy and short lived. Stealing, trespassing into a private space and aggressive behaviour will surely get you removed from the rental accommodation and barred from any new rental that wants references. Similarly those actions will probably get you a visit from the police (but you may need a new place to sleep by that point, even if there are metal bars involved).
#5, Ensure your own self-sufficiency. Your parent or guardian does not live with you any longer but the lessons they taught you about cleanliness, earning your own way and eating properly still apply. Nothing ends a good room mate/tenant relationship faster than when one party cannot be bothered with personal hygiene, with general cleanliness and/or begins to rely on others for their upkeep.
#6, Go the extra mile for those around you but don't get walked-on because of your apparent generosity. Clean that dryer vent, pick up that tissue, wipe that table top and do yard work if you must but always (and the landlord should help you with this), ensure that you are not the only one doing it (unless you are being reimbursed), or resentment will set in and you will be no good to anyone.
Final Thoughts
Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. If you are a landlord and are waiting for the perfect renter or room mate to show up then be prepared to wait a while. If you do begin to rent your space out then be prepared to kiss a few frogs before that ideal, long-term tenant shows up. Once there, do and say things to ensure they want to stay but don't inflate their ego so much that they will feel empowered to take advantage of all that you offer.
If you are a prospective renter or room mate then be prepared for some tough, personal questions before someone lets you into their space. Be prepared to ask your own tough questions about the arrangement but never pry into your landlord's private life. If you have misgivings when meeting them, get the heck out. Once you are in however, work hard to stay there by being respectful of each other, or start looking for your next residence.
Being 'excellent' to one another is contagious, plus it is not difficult to accomplish and it will pay benefits long into the future. Best of luck to you in 2024 and may all of your expectations be fulfilled!
Thank you for reading,
Ted